


arrival

by iinamorata



Category: Good Morning Call (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25507708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iinamorata/pseuds/iinamorata
Summary: One day Issei looked in the mirror, blinked, and suddenly it all came into focus.(On an unremarkable Wednesday, during a particularly mundane afternoon, Issei realised he was in love with Nao.)
Relationships: Issei Sata/Yoshikawa Nao
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	arrival

**Author's Note:**

> issei is still best boy

Nao was a hurricane of a girl.

Uehara sometimes looked at Nao like he thought she was the sun, but Issei rather thought a storm would be more accurate.

Nao had crashed into Issei's life without warning, knocking him off his feet (literally) and robbing him of his breath.

When he first met her he'd thought he might hate her. Usually, he was above those kind of snap judgements, but he'd been working an extra long day and she'd somehow had him flying off his bike and shattering the very fragile cargo he'd been transporting. So he'd looked at her, even as she was worrying and fussing about him, and he thought that he should hate her for all the trouble she'd caused in just a mere couple seconds.

Thing was, though, that it was incredibly difficult to feel anything but this strange exasperated kind of fondness for Nao. Once she started to work with him, it was hard to resist the way she wormed her way under his skin, melting all his anger away with that bright smile of hers, or making him laugh with her silly little antics.

Issei was older. More experienced. _Smarter_. Yet still, when it happened, it had taken him by complete surprise.

He had been satisfied with his role as an outsider. Someone just barely tethered to Nao and her circle of friends, and her circus act of a life. He was happy just simply listening to Nao recount her latest shenanigan, or to Mitsuishi and Marina complaining about some Nao related incident. If he was honest, he might've actually been glad of the position he held. He liked Nao, he did, but she seemed to attract chaos with her wherever she went. Issei was fairly satisfied never having to be caught up in whatever ridiculous adventure Nao could concoct next.

Then one day Issei looked in the mirror, blinked, and suddenly it all came into focus.

The way whenever it was just him and Nao he felt relaxed, casual. The way he tensed almost unintentionally the moment Uehara entered the picture. The way sometimes he would wake up, grasping at the blurred edges of his latest dream, and within the fuzz of his half asleep state, was Nao's smile.

On an unremarkable Wednesday, during a particularly mundane afternoon, Issei realised he was in love with Nao.

**— ☆ —**

The next thing Issei realised, was that being in love with Nao made him a great big idiot.

It made him brash, and impulsive, and _stupid._

It was terrifying. Being in love with Nao made him forget sometimes, who he was and what he stood for. Most of it didn't matter anymore in comparison to her. She was so all consuming, and bright, and enveloped him with such a light that sometimes he thought no other girl would ever be good enough anymore.

How did Uehara handle it? Loving Nao, living with her.

Issei was sure if that was him, he would've lost his mind.

And then it was. And he did.

The first night Issei spent on Nao and Uehara's couch, he spent most of it wondering when it had all went wrong.

He had been fine before he met her. Sane, mostly. Put together, sort of. Smart, just a little bit. And then she had arrived, pushy and optimistic but shy and insecure at the same time, and Issei had apparently thought _fuck it_ to living out a peaceful and uncomplicated life.

Because Nao had not come alone. She came with Uehara attached, looking mostly as if he was the unhappiest man in the world.

In different circumstances, Issei might've learnt to appreciate Uehara, like him even. But as things stood, with Nao, and him, and his very inconvenient feelings, all Issei could really do was tolerate Uehara with an undercurrent of bitter jealousy and loathing.

Living with Nao turned out almost easy, the increased building up of his guilt otherwise, and other than the unavoidable presence of Uehara, Issei started to almost feel comfortable. He knew though, that really it meant there was a problem. Why was it comfortable? Why was it ridiculously easy to cook for Nao in the mornings and banter over doing the dishes with her at night? Why was it natural for them to live together, as if they had been for years?

(Why did it make him picture a future with a proper house, a cat and a few kids, and him walking into the kitchen to see Nao smiling at him with a spatula in her hand and love in her eyes?)

Nao didn't seem to notice, the way her and Issei sort of instinctively melded together in a shared space. Uehara did though, and hated it with an obvious (and justified, Issei had to remind himself) fury.

Issei almost felt bad for him. Uehara would look at them sometimes, with this far away look, this wistful kind of wondering, and Issei would know what he was thinking without needing to be told. Nao and Uehara were clumsy, the nature of their relationship was trial and error. Nao and Issei on the other hand, came together like two pieces of a puzzle, slotting in with each other smoothly and effortlessly. Uehara weighed those two relationships against each other, and clearly thought Nao and Issei had it better.

Issie knew that was wrong. There were certain things Uehara was blind too, that Issei saw all too well. Uehara's relationship with Nao was new, yes, and a little messy and unrefined, but it was simply unpolished. They were still getting used to each other, still dancing around each other just a bit. And Issei would _kill_ to have that, to have the hesitant glances and flushed cheeks and awkward smiles.

He still couldn't ever like Uehara though, so he kept all of it to himself.

**— ☆ —**

Nao was warm pressed against his back, and Issei let it slip without really thinking.

"Relationships should be equal, you know. It can't just be one person trying to change, trying to grow all on their own. It's not fair that way. You have to change and grow together, for each other. I believe in relationships like that, I believe in a _love_ like that."

Nao was taking in his words properly, he knew, because she'd fallen silent then. He could almost picture her face, the quiet contemplation, the subtle concern.

"Do you- what do you think about me and Uehara? Do you think we're like that?" She asked, all vulnerable and hopeful at the same time.

Issei didn't want to lie.

"....I think your relationship is a little different."

She sucked in a breath then, like he'd said something so surprising it stole her breath away.

Issei felt that familiar feeling of guilt knocking against his chest, but refused to take it back. It was the truth. It was his truth.

"What... what does our relationship look like to you then?"

That question almost made Issei stumble. He'd half expected Nao to just completely drop the conversation after what he last said, but then she had pushed on, asked further, and Issei all of a sudden found himself at a crossroads.

There was an opportunity there, in her words, for him to steer her where he wanted her. But Issei was still a man of integrity (mostly), and his moral compass hadn't been completely skewed yet. There was also the option to lie, to just tell her what she wanted to hear, so that he wouldn't hurt her. But that wasn't a right answer either.

"It looks like a new one, a relationship that's just started, that you and Uehara are still trying to perfect. All relationships start that way, you just need to give it some time before you find your footing. But... sometimes it also looks to me like you're trying so hard for him, and he doesn't even seem to see it, or appreciate it. I'm not saying he won't, in the future, but right now it doesn't look like he's fully pulling his weight. And, well, maybe you'd be happier with someone who would. Someone who would notice, someone who would be grateful." 

The _s_ _omeone like me_ was left unsaid.

"Icchan." Nao had breathed then, the weight of an entire world hanging at the end of his name. "I love Uehara. Maybe it's too early to say this, but I really think I do. He makes me cry, hurts me sometimes too, but I really do love him. And I want to try, and I want to keep trying, for him, for us."

His throat went dry. He told himself _no_ , that was not the sound of his heart breaking.

**— ☆ —**

Yukari was introduced out of nowhere, completely taking Issei by surprise.

She said something about liking him, about appreciating how he comforted her after she cried, about how she thought she could really fall for him. He'd, in turn, said something about how he wasn't currently looking for a relationship, that she seemed like a great person but that he wasn't interested in dating.

It was a lie. He just wasn't interested in dating anyone that wasn't Nao.

Yukari seemed to notice too, because she'd went back to him just a few days later, and all but announced that she didn't believe he was telling the truth.

When he had went and dragged Nao by the hand to pretend she was his girlfriend, it had really only been a last ditch effort to drive Yukari away. At the time he really hadn't stopped to consider that it might be a horrible decision, since he was acting on pure impulse and panic.

Then Yukari said, "Prove it." and Issei realised exactly the kind of situation he placed himself in.

("Just for one day?" Nao asked, looking somewhat sympathetic, but also mostly unsure.

Issei nodded. "Just for one day. Promise."

"Okay then.")

The theme park was a blessing and a curse.

Even with Yukari at the back of their heels, Issei found himself having fun with Nao. Being in Nao's company, it was all too easy for him to let his guard down and actually enjoy himself. Yukari's presence began to fade into the background, until eventually it disappeared all together. Issei could tell Nao was enjoying herself too, laughing and jumping and exuding the energy of an overexcited child.

Issei told himself over and over again during the day that it wasn't a date, that it didn't count. But it felt like one, it _looked_ like one, and God did he want it to be one.

He took her ice skating, holding tightly onto her hand the whole time. He bought her food, won stuffed animals for her, watched after her when she went on the rides he wasn't particularly fond of.

The day wasn't even anywhere near over when Yukari had approached the both of them with this sour look on her face. "I'm sorry I doubted you." She'd said, and then walked away with her head bowed down.

"Oh." Nao exhaled, as if she had just remembered that they were meant to be pretending.

Issei tried not to let himself get too caught up in what that could mean for him.

"I had fun." He admitted. "Almost forgot we were supposed to be acting for a while."

Nao nodded, though she looked a little conflicted. "Me too, actually."

Issei tried to pretend that didn't mean the entire world to him.

**— ☆ —**

Loving Nao began to feel like second nature to Issei, like he had been doing it all his life.

He dreamed about her sometimes, and he wouldn't wake up confused anymore, just settled with the knowledge that she would be there whenever he closed his eyes.

Whenever she was working at the shop, his eyes would trail after her subconsciously, keeping track of her movement throughout the day. That one his father had caught almost immediately, and gave him this wide grin like he had discovered this big secret. Issei just tried to ignore those knowing looks.

He wanted more, always. Nothing was ever enough anymore. He wanted to grab her by the arms and kiss her so hard she would forget all about Uehara. He wanted her to look at him with those eyes of hers, give him that dazzling 'I am a girl in love' look like she did with Uehara. He wanted her to want him back.

It was excruciating, most days, being in love with her.

He learnt not to expect anything, taught himself not to read too much into her smiles and laughs and touches. So when she showed up to work one day and announced, "Uehara and I are on a break." he had been at a total loss.

"Wait, what?" He gaped, head swimming with the knowledge that the Nao in front of him was just Nao, not Uehara's girlfriend Nao.

(Not that she'd said they'd broken up. Just that they were on a break.

But _still._ )

Nao smiled at him, something sad and wobbly and kind of miserable looking. "We had a fight. I mean, we always have fights about something, but... something felt different about this one... and I decided maybe it would be good if we spent some time apart, think about things a little bit on our own."

Issei blinked. The fact that Nao had been the one to suggest the break was a big shock. "But don't you live together?"

"Um, yeah, but Marina said it was okay if I stayed over with her and her parents for a bit, so..."

Nao let a silence fall over them after that, her eyes trained carefully on the floor, as if she was straining to try not to tear up.

Issei decided Uehara must've been an even bigger idiot than him, to let this happen.

"Right. Okay. After work you're coming with me."

Issei improvised a whole date on a whim, having worked out most of the details while he was working.

Nao looked heartbroken. She probably _was_ heartbroken.

He took her hand as soon as her shift ended, and whisked her away a petting zoo. It was dark out, and the zoo was just about to close, but Issei knew one of the managers (it paid to befriend some regulars) and pulled a few strings so that they could wander around even though it was technically supposed to be closed.

Nao had lit up the moment she stepped in, eyes bright with wonder.

Issei committed the image of a glowing Nao surrounded by fluffy animals to memory.

"Thank you for today." Nao said later, as he was walking her home.

"You're welcome." He replied, grinning. "I'm glad you had fun."

"I did. It just... I felt kind of guilty about it... like I shouldn't be having any fun without Uehara around."

Issei tenses at the mention of Uehara, and hoped she wouldn't notice.

"You're allowed to have fun without him, you know that right? You always were. And now that you two aren't together anymore? You're even more allowed to have fun without him. Don't worry about it too much."

Nao seemed to consider that for a moment, before frowning. "I just thought it wouldn't be possible... to be happy while not being Uehara's girlfriend. I thought I wouldn't be able to smile knowing that we weren't together anymore."

He felt that familiar tug at his chest, that voice in his head that screamed _'LOOK AT ME'_.

There was a specific kind of ache that blossomed whenever Nao decided to air her problems with Uehara with him. He could never really blame her for it, even if he wanted to. And he could never _not_ offer advice either, he just couldn't withdraw himself from the problem.

He missed it sometimes, being uninvolved, being unseen.

"Your relationship with Uehara is not everything that you are, Yoshikawa. You were you before you were ever Uehara's girlfriend, I feel like you forget that sometimes."

She gasped, as if she hadn't realised that until he'd said it.

He knew he was right too. Nao sometimes seemed to think she didn't exist beyond dating Uehara, and loving Uehara. Like all she knew was to give herself totally and completely to their relationship, like she didn't know being a person was more than just that.

Issei could never understand that to begin with. He thought he might now though.

"I- you're... you're right. I know you're right. People... people have told me before, that I'm too obsessed with our relationship, with him. After we had that big fight, it's like I suddenly couldn't stop seeing it. I always felt like Uehara never cared enough, or paid enough attention, but I think it was just because I was doing too much. I put too much into our relationship, I paid too much attention, I was too focused on it. Always focused on it. Uehara had other priorities, like school work and his future. I was never properly considering it. All I was thinking about was Uehara, all the time, everyday. It wasn't healthy. I didn't know that before, but I know that now. I just didn't want to say it for so long because I loved him so much. I really did. I loved him."

Quite a few words from Nao's speech stuck out to Issei, but any coherent thoughts had immediately flown out the window when she said _I loved him._ Loved. Past tense.

 _Loved._ As in, she didn't love him anymore.

Issei suddenly couldn't breathe properly.

"Oh." Is all he said, his mind a complete mess, his heartbeat irregular and out of time.

Nao smiled at him oddly, thinking his reaction a bit strange. "You said it before, right? About how a relationship is supposed to be equal? You were right. In the end, I- I was the one who made things so unbalanced. I needed this break from Uehara to try and teach myself how not to- how to do things right. So that I can be better."

 _Better for him?_ He wanted to ask. But he was too tired to say the words, too scared of the answer to voice them.

Nao might've said loved, like it wasn't true anymore, but Issei knew better.

**— ☆ —**

Two years come to pass.

Nao and Uehara got back together (as Issei had predicted), and then they had went off to college together, hand in hand, and Issei thought to finally close that chapter of his life.

If his life were a series of chapters, he was certain the biggest one would be titled _'Nao, and the love affair that never was'_. He was also pretty certain that part of his life could've gone on a lot longer, that he probably could've dedicated hundreds of pages just for her.

But the universe had seemed to take some kind of mercy on him then, because it had whisked her away and out of reach. And Issei? Well, Issei still had a whole life to live outside of Nao.

His father pestered him once, long ago, about taking over the shop. That had ended the moment another, very competent and very enthusiastic employee came along. And then his father was more than happy to let Issei do whatever he wanted, for his new apprentice was more than happy to take over the shop in Issei's place.

All in all it worked out pretty well, because Issei had always wanted to start his own legacy, rather than continue off of his family's. So he took everything he learnt from his father (and a few things he learnt from the secret 'study excursions' he did at other ramen shops) and started his own business.

The first few months were stressful, and really made him consider just how lucky he actually was to have his father around, but then things finally fell into a sort of habit, and Issei slowly became used to it, being his own boss, managing his own finances, hiring his own employees.

The only thing that he couldn't seem to get right was his love life.

His work life was something of a miracle, it was successful and it was satisfying and it was growing every day. But he had nothing to show in the romance department. It made him feel strange, most days, like he was normal except for the empty space beside him.

When he used to picture his future he would think of his own store, his own business, his own legacy growing from his own fingertips. Then he would think about his wife, a woman for him to love when he closed the shop at night, someone who would eventually give him his own family, fill that small hole in his heart that he had reserved for just this kind of thing.

It wasn't like he wasn't trying. He was meeting people, going out on dates. He was doing everything he was supposed to. So why wasn't he getting anywhere? Why was it that every after date he still felt unfulfilled, like he was holding every single woman to a standard that they could never reach. It was unfair, to them, to him. He just wanted somebody to love.

(Is it his fault that every new woman he met came with a warning sign spelling _'SHE IS NOT NAO'_ that only he could see?)

If he let himself think about it, he would've realised sooner that the last chapter of his life simply hadn't closed properly. It wasn't Nao's fault, not really. She'd text him every once in a while, during periods when he would think he could finally get through a full week without stopping to think of her even once, accidentally throwing him back into his Nao themed dreams and the same old lovesick patterns he was getting tired of. It was just that Issei couldn't seem to fully let go. Every time he thought he might be getting over her, moving on, he'd grab ahold of all his thoughts of her so tightly again, as if they were comforting, as if they kept him safe.

Loving Nao had made him a miserable moron, but he loved it all the same. He loved loving her as much as he simply just loved her. The moment he fell, part of him was sure he would never feel it again, never be able to love another person like he loved Nao, so he stubbornly, resolutely, hung on.

Nao was his first love, and lately she was beginning to feel like his last.

**Nao:** sooooo how was it???

 **Issei:** how was what??

 **Nao:** the date!!!! duh!!!!!!!!!

 **Issei:** oh. uh. it was fine

 **Nao:** :((( that means it was bad then

 **Issei:** no no, it really was fine

 **Nao:** you always say that, but then you never go out on a second date with them. so surely something must be going wrong

 **Issei:** maybe i'm just not meant for dating... maybe i'm just destined to be single....

 **Nao:** noooooooo don't say that!!!!! you'll find love eventually, i know it!! you just need to find the right person for you

 **Issei:** yeah... maybe

 **Nao:** don't be sad!!!!!! it'll work out in the end!!!!!! i believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Issei:** okay okay. i'll believe you

 **Nao:** good!!!!! you're a great person, icchan, i'm sure it would be impossible for a girl to not fall in love with you

 **Issei _[unsent]_ :** so why didn't you?

**— ☆ —**

On Issei's twenty fourth birthday, Nao arrived at his door, wet from the rain, with a soggy cake in her hands.

"Happy birthday!" She exclaimed, looking miserable and excited at the same time.

Issei couldn't find it in himself to speak, so he simply opened the door wider to let her in.

Nao placed the (wet) cake on his table, and then spent a few minutes wandering around his apartment, taking things in, commenting on the state of his decor and any interesting things she could pick out from his belongings.

"Not that I'm not happy you're here, but... why _are_ you here?" Issei asked eventually, effectively cutting off Nao's nervous rambling.

Nao stiffened immediately at the question, before turning to face Issei with an obvious forced smile. "It's your birthday! I'm here to celebrate it with you!"

Issei remembered wishing for this once. Blowing out the candles on his birthday cake and wishing for Nao to be there to spend it with him. This wasn't exactly what he had imagined, though.

"You don't exactly look like you're in the mood to celebrate."

If there was one sight Issei didn't miss, it was Nao like this. Broken, and yet desperately trying to hold herself together. He'd lost count of the amount of times he'd seen her like this, smiling through her pain, trying to pretend her heart wasn't in pieces.

Issei didn't have to ask to know who it was that had her like this.

"Sorry." Nao whispered, like she felt guilty for it. "I really was planning on coming over to celebrate your birthday, properly. The cake- it- I made it. I spent the whole morning making sure it was perfect but then- well, apparently I forgot to mention it to Hisashi and he... he wasn't too happy about it. We were supposed to go on a date tonight, which I told him we'd still be able to do since I was just planning on staying with you for the afternoon. Then he got angry, and I got a bit angry too and, I guess we broke up?"

It was a weird thing to be fixated on, Issei knew, but she called him _Hisashi._ She never used to do that. Even in her texts, she usually just referred to him as Uehara.

He wondered when that change had happened, and why she felt she still needed to call him Uehara when she was texting Issei.

He isn't able to fixate on that part much though, not when he realised with a start just exactly what she had said.

_I guess we broke up._

Issei blinked, and wondered if he was dreaming.

She hadn't said they were on a break. She'd said they'd broken up.

Hope sparked somewhere, alive and loud, and Issei could not believe it.

"I had planned to spend my birthday getting drunk, you know, since I thought I'd be spending it alone. But since you're here now... want a drink?"

Issei's twenty fourth birthday ended up being one of his best ones. It was all kinds of messy, Nao crying through some parts of it, and laughing through others. But the thing about the both of them being drunk, was that they could talk about more than they usually would, more than they would usually allow themselves too.

Nao laid it all out for him, the ins and outs of her relationship with Uehara. What went wrong, what went right, why in the end they had split up the way they did.

Issei lamented about his own love life, still seemingly nowhere closer to finding a woman he could actually call his girlfriend, and about how he thought his first love might be his only one, and that she might've ruined every other woman for him, permanently.

"And you're sure you still don't have a chance with her?"

Issei considered the question properly, looking at Nao and her flushed cheeks and happy eyes. "I'm... less sure than I was before, but... I really don't think she feels anything further than friendship with me."

Nao huffed, as if pissed on his behalf. "Does she have a boyfriend? Because if she doesn't, you should just swoop in there and kiss her! Show her that you're available, that you love her. Maybe she'll consider you properly if you let her know what you felt about her."

"She doesn't have a boyfriend, not anymore anyway. Though I'm not entirely sure she won't just end up getting back together with him later, and... I really don't want to potentially ruin what we have now by confessing my feelings. If she doesn't feel the same then we'd never be able to be friends anymore, and more than anything, I don't want to lose her."

Nao furrowed her brows, confused now.

Issei wondered if Uehara had ever told her, if Uehara had ever really let her know the extent of his feelings for her, if Uehara ever thought to show it to her.

Uehara had a habit of just assuming Nao knew how to read in-between the lines. Issei wasn't foolish enough to think that Nao could interpret anything on her own without it being told to her directly.

"That sounds so..." Nao hesitated for a moment after that, pausing to look for the right words, "sad, but also kind of nice. Like, I wish His- I wish Uehara had felt something like that for me. I wish anybody did. I wish I was the kind of girl that could get a boy to love her like that."

The silence that followed that confession was horrible. Issei had the words stuck in his throat, _"You are. I love you. I've always loved you."_ but every time it felt like it was going to come out, he simply pushed it back down again.

Nao just broke up with Uehara, she didn't need to hear that, not now.

"Somebody will." He promised, knowing that it was already true. "Yoshikawa, you- you are amazing. You are kind, and caring, and sometimes a little too much trouble, but you're worth it. You're worth loving, and somebody will love you with everything they have, I know it. It might not be Uehara, it might never be Uehara, but it doesn't have to be."

Her eyes had fluttered shut then, and for a moment he thought she'd fallen asleep, but then she opened them again, like she was looking at him for the first time, eyes curious and inviting. Something changed then, in that moment, Issei just hadn't known what.

"Yeah." She said, a little breathless. "Maybe you're right. Thank you, Icchan."

**— ☆ —**

Issei knew, intrinsically, that he let Nao bleed into too many other things.

The chapter had never ended, and still wasn't over, so she was making her way back into his other pages. She showed up at his shop, smiled at him from over the counter, and then she was just _there,_ again, like she had never left.

Now that she was finished with college, she was just starting her new job. According to her it was kind of boring, just paperwork in an office where her presence generally didn't amount to much. She still seemed happy enough though, excited that a new section of her life had began.

It was getting easier thinking of Nao without Uehara now, too. After they'd broken up, they had stayed broken up. Nao didn't go crying back to him, and Uehara didn't come crawling back either. Issei almost thought they were better for it, better now that they were apart from each other.

Though secretly he still thought that what they had, the love he used to see in their eyes, he didn't think that was something that could ever be replaced, or overwritten. 

Nao doesn't see anybody else either. At first, Issei had thought it was simply because she was still in love with Uehara, but as more time passed he started to realise that wasn't quite it.

Nao was still grieving their relationship in a way, yes, but she just wasn't interested in anybody else. Anybody who ever asked, she'd turn down with a smile and a shake of her head.

Issei was afraid. Afraid of the knowledge that Uehara had ruined her completely for anyone else. Afraid that now that she seemed closer than ever, she was actually further away.

It's why he didn't ever ask. Why he never told her.

He kept his feelings a secret, as he always had, and refused to let her in.

She made it hard, though, always coming around to his apartment unannounced, bothering him at work whenever she finished her shift, popping up in his dreams like he was eighteen again.

Issei thought he'd figured out by now where they really stood. Him (in love), her (not so much).

He forgot what being in love with Nao made him.

It made him blind. And stupid.

**Nao:** i'm coming over

 **Issei:** why are you telling me this?

 **Nao:** so you're prepared

 **Issei:** you never usually bother to prepare me. why now?

 **Nao:** UGH

 **Issei:** what?????

 **Nao:** i'm just coming. okay???

 **Issei:** yeah, okay...

Nao all but stormed into his apartment, hair flying wildly behind her as she marched in through the door.

Issei shut the door behind her with a confused wrinkle in his forehead, wondering just what she was so upset for.

"Marina told me." Nao said simply, with no explanation, no warning.

Issei frowned. "Told you _what_ exactly?"

Nao stepped forward, and poked a finger at his chest, hard. "She told me she saw some girl walking out of your apartment the other day. In the morning. And she said it was obvious that she had spent the night with you."

Issei didn't know how to react to that at all.

"Okay? And?"

Clearly that had been the wrong thing to say though, because Nao dropped her mouth open and took a step back, looking at him with a kind of heat in her eyes that he'd never seen before.

" _And?_ What do you mean and?"

"Well... why would it matter to her if a girl stayed the night here?"

_Why would it matter to you?_

"Wh- of course it matters! Why wouldn't it? We're- I-"

She stopped then, in the middle of her sentence, eyes wide as if she'd just realised something.

Issei was still mostly lost, and completely confsued.

"What? What is it?"

"I thought we were- I thought you- _oh!_ Oh, God. Never mind, I just- just pretend I was never here."

She was flushed completely red at that point, before turning around to leave.

He jumped into action finally then, pulling on her hand so that she couldn't walk away.

"Hey! Wait. Don't I deserve an explanation for what just happened?"

Nao was facing the door, her back to him, but even though he couldn't see her face, he could tell she was upset.

Now if only he could just figure out _why._

"I can't believe you're making me say it like this." She mumbled, before turning around to face him again. "I like you, okay? I've liked you for a while, and I thought that we were- well I thought that you knew and that we were both in the same place, but clearly I was wrong and you had no idea and I was the only one who had any of those kind of thoughts, so can you just let me go please? And we can just go back to normal tomorrow?"

Issei snapped his open mouth shut.

Tried to determine in his head whether this was a dream or not, and then when discovering that it was very much real, had to take a step back to properly process it.

"How... how long?" He asked, even though his mouth felt dry, even though he couldn't even really hear himself say it.

Nao frowned, looking somewhere past him. "A while... not too long... just... a few months maybe?"

Issei cannot breathe.

"Why did you- what made you think we were in the same place?"

The question made her jump a bit, made her look away in embarrassment. "Well, you... whenever I came around, and whenever I'd see you at work, you never said anything about it, you know? You never told me to go away or anything, or that I was bothering you, so I thought it was okay, I thought... I thought that meant you liked me too, since you let me hang around you so much."

Well, she wasn't wrong, exactly.

Nao could do anything to him and he wouldn't complain.

"Oh." Is all he could manage.

Nao smiled, something a little bitter and disappointed. "Sorry. I'll... I'll just go now."

Issei had to grab onto her hand again, keeping her from trying to leave once more.

"Wait." He hissed, beginning to come back into his thoughts again. "Stop trying to walk away, just- just give me a moment, okay?"

Nao looked surprised, eyes wide, but nodded anyway.

He let the silence stretch out between them for a minute, mind racing through every single thing she'd just said, trying to piece together how to give her a proper reply.

Eventually he opened his mouth to say, "Nao." and at the use of her first name, she's immediately jerking to attention. "I love you. I loved you for years. Since I was eighteen and you were still in high school. You've just- you've just said something I've been waiting to hear for _years._ I needed a moment to properly process it, to make sure this wasn't just another dream I was having."

Nao was the one that was now shocked beyond belief, her mouth parted in surprise.

Issei's mouth twitched a bit at the sight.

"You... you're in love with me? You've been in love with me for that long?" She asked, a little scared now, a little more uncertain.

Issei wondered if she knew how much that look hurt him. 

"Yeah. And you? You like me?"

"I... yes. I like you."

Now the question was, what should they do?

It was a little different, knowing that one was like and the other was love. Made things a bit harder, a bit more complicated.

Issei thought it was all rather simple. They date, and he gets her to love him back.

For Nao it was a little bit different. Made her see things in an entirely different way. Made her feel guilty, made the idea of them seem so much more messy.

She didn't want to hurt him (even though she realised now that she must've been hurting him unintentionally for years). She didn't want them to start at such different places, for her to be unable to give him everything he wanted, for him to give her more than she could give him.

"What do you want to do now?"

Issei was asking her, because he wanted her to comfortable, because despite his own feelings he wanted her to be happy. She knew that if she said she wanted for them to go back to just being friends, he would say yes in a heartbeat, agree to her demands with a smile and his gentle eyes.

Nao is stuck with a sudden thought then, that Issei might've been entirely out of her league this whole time. She didn't deserve someone like him, so kind and patient and loving. She had always thought Uehara was the best thing that could've happened to her. She was looking at Issei now though, and she felt that he was placing his heart ever so carefully in her hands, for her to break, or to treasure, and she knew that Issei thought the exact same thing of her.

It wasn't fair, she thought, that he dedicated all that time to her, that he'd willingly hand it all over to her, and she hadn't even known until now.

If she was seventeen again, back when she was working with him in his father's ramen shop, when they had first met, she might've handed his heart back to him, and told him that she was sorry, that she couldn't knowingly put him through something that might hurt him in the end.

But Nao was an adult now, with her own job and her own car, and she _wanted_ him. She didn't love him, not quite yet, but she wanted him. She missed him sometimes with a strength that surprised her, needed him in moments when she felt so alone, and it drove her crazy. She owed it to herself to let this happen, didn't she?

Nao took a deep breath, then looked Issei right in the eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

The smile that Issei answered her with, one full of adoration and love and possibilities, just before he took her breath away with his lips, it made her head spin.

(Uehara was Nao's first love. He would always be her first love.

She had a feeling though, that Issei might end up being her best one.)

**Author's Note:**

> none of the cannon events happen in the right order bc my memory is bad but its still an ok read despite that so pls ignore that 4 me thank u


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